


The prince in still a prince

by CrimsonBitch



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ben Hanscom Loves Beverly Marsh, Declarations Of Love, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Like very minor, Minor Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Minor Injuries, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:27:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23631586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonBitch/pseuds/CrimsonBitch
Summary: "From the moment Ben had met Beverly, he knew she was destined for something great. Whether it was being a CEO or a rockstar or a fucking author, Bev was going to get the hell out of Derry. "Sometimes, the princess doesn't really need help getting out of the tower. Sometimes, the prince needs a little rescuing too. Sometimes the prince is born knowing this, but for Ben, it would take eighteen years to truly realize.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	The prince in still a prince

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I quite like this one tbh. For the record, I hate the narrative that Ben gets in shape hot and plays football or whatever and then Bev finally like him so I said fuck!that! My boys learning to love himself instead!

From the moment Ben had met Beverly, he knew she was destined for something great. Whether it was being a CEO or a rockstar or a fucking author, Bev was going to get the hell out of Derry. 

Ben sat at the lunch table while Stan and Richie got into a heated debate about some show they both watch. Ben didn’t really care. He was discussing a quiz that he and Bill took in English that morning. Mike, forever the English aficionado, was weighing in with his own personal opinions on the symbolism and whatnot.

Eddie and Bev entered, already having an enthusiastic conversation. Ben couldn’t help but notice how the scarf she wore as a headband complimented her eyes. He shook the thought out of his head and continued speaking, his cheeks tinted slightly pink. 

“Guys” Bev smacked the table, turning on them, “You’ll never _believe_ what happened in me and Eddie’s math class” 

As they listened, Ben saw the lovestruck face Richie made while Eddie told his portion of the story. He worried his own face was a mirror. You couldn’t blame him; it was Bev after all. 

Ben, after extensive debilitation, had come to the conclusion that it was impossible not to fall a little bit in love with Bev. Even Eddie and Richie, who were gayer than a funfetti cake full of rainbow glitter, blushed when she gently touched their cheeks, or ran her fingers through her hair. 

She had a certain way to just draw people in, whether it was her humor, her caring nature, or the way she just never ran out of interesting things to talk about. If he wasn't sure she was gonna be famous, he thought she'd make a good teacher. No matter what she was talking about, people couldn't help but get drawn in. 

While everyone in the group was a tiny bit in love with Bev, Ben accepted a long time ago that he was a total goner. He had gone out with a few other people throughout highschool so far, but he found that no matter how pretty the girl across from his was, he wished Bev was there so she could make fun of the pineapple he ordered on his pizza (and steal a few pieces to put on her own slice nonetheless). 

Bev and him always went to that parlor after seeing a bad sci-fi movie (something they shared a mutual love for). The boy who worked the counter totally saw how hopeless Ben was, and gave him a sympathetic look when he came in with other girls. 

Bev was like the sun. She was fascinating and warm and brought life anywhere she went, but you also get burned if you get too close. Ben had felt like his skin was on fire for as long as he could remember. 

At this point, he was willing to let himself disintegrate, just to stay basking in the light that was Beverly Marsh before they graduated and she moved away to be _Freaking Awesome_ , and he was stuck in Derry and she forgot all about sad little Ben, who could never seem to get over him school-girl crush on her. 

He knew this was inevitable. She was much better than this town. Beverly Marsh was much different than ben hanscom. He swallowed the bitter pill a long time ago. Now, he was happy to get teased, or discuss music with her, or walk her home, or listen as she told the story of how her and Eddie’s math teacher got pantsed and “-you’ll never believe what cartoon his underwear was-”. 

By the time lunch was nearly over, the whole group was in an intense discussion about what childhood cartoon was the best. It was Stan and Eddie on team Pokemon, Mike, Bill, and Richie on team Avatar, and Bev and Ben valiantly defending Rugrats, although it seemed to be a losing fight on that front. 

“Oh my god guys I forgot to tell you” Bev said as they all began to pack up, “I have a date tonight”

“Oooooh Marshhh” Richie taunted, “What lucky fellow may have the chance to brave the ginger jungle”

“ _Richie_ don’t be grosssss _”_ Eddie groaned. Ben felt his heart sink so low it practically hit the floor. 

“Richie, shut up. Also it’s Aaron, you know, the blond?”

The group was silent. “Bev” Bill said suspiciously, “You do know he’s like, the biggest man whore in the school, right?”. Bev went totally still. 

"You're kidding right?" She laughed, "Yes Bill, I know he definitely has every dick disease known to man, but a free meal never hurt anybody"

“Yeah, I guess. Just be careful” Bill warned. He showed his love through protection. Ben admired that about Bill, even more since he had been on the receiving end of it. 

The next few classes were rough for Ben, who couldn’t get the thought of Bev and Aaron out of his head. He didn’t know why it hurt so much. It’s not like Bev hadn’t gone out with guys before. For some reason though, Ben was especially ticked off about this.

Ben didn’t want to think about Bev laughing when anyone else was across the booth from her. Ben reveled in those moments of Bev’s undivided attention, where he’d have to go in for a sip of soda to hide the blush on his cheeks. Thinking about someone else making Bev laugh so hard she spit soda out onto the table made Ben want to curl up and cry. 

After school, Ben didn’t go directly home, opting instead to stick behind and watch Bill and Mike at football, and getting a ride after. He pulled out his poetry journal, which looked like it had been run over by roughly eight cars, and jotted down thoughts. 

He wrote about the sun and burning flesh and the light that reflected off coppery hair. He wrote about a princess up in a tower and a prince who was desperately in love with her, but she couldn’t help him up, because she chopped all her hair off in her bathroom like the fucking badass she is. 

He wrote about a prince who can barely bring himself to look in mirrors because he hated chubby cheeks and sandy hair and boring brown eyes. He wrote about a prince that wrote letters to the princess, but shot an arrow through every carrier pigeon he released, always hit with a wave of fear. 

He wrote about the princess who grew up and got herself out of the damn tower, and a prince who paced around it until the pacing dug a hole so far down he couldn’t get out. Poor bastard didn't even realize he was below ground until he looked up and saw a 747 flying above, and felt in his gut that the tower was deserted. 

He wrote for so long that he was shocked when Mike splashed some his water bottle onto Ben’s face. Ben yelped and spluttered, and Bill and Mike laughed. 

“You guys are assholes” Ben groaned.

“You’re the one asking for a favor, don’t get picky now” Bill grinned, as he and Mike packed their shit up. They walked to Bill’s car, and the three got into a conversation about the videogame they planned on playing tonight. Strategy was hard, but it was best to get these things out of the way before all the Loser’s got on the server. Bev and Eddie were the only ones who abstained, claiming lack of interest. 

Despite this, Eddie could often be heard in the background of Richie’s audio, and when Bev was hanging out at Ben’s house and he was online, she’d pull up a chair and demand he explain whatever he was playing. 

Ben got out of the car and thanked Bill for the ride. He entered the house, ate dinner with his mom, and started his homework, before getting online and greeting the other losers, who had been waiting for him. 

* * *

Given that it was a Friday night, Ben had no qualms about staying up until 2 in order to keep playing with the other losers. Normally, he, Mike, and Eddie were the proud owners of normal sleep schedules, whereas the other ones that played were known to show up to school with under eye bags, blaming a sleepless night of gaming. 

Ben showered, brushed his teeth, and washed his face. After this, he did his daily two-minute-mirror-stare. His sophomore year of highschool had been crippling with self-esteem issues and the anxiety that came with them. After an anxiety-attack-fueled call to Bill at four in the morning, who had been more than comforting, Ben had asked his mom to see a therapist. 

His therapist recommended a bunch of exercises in self-love, and while a bunch were awkward and felt like hippy-dippy BS, the personal affirmations were actually quite helpful. With the help of his therapist and Bill, who had been sure to check in on Ben regularly after the late-night call, his self esteem had improved drastically. 

He was always shocked by how you can never see how bad shit was until you start getting better. 

After staring at himself and reciting all the little comforting phrases he had memorized, Ben went back to his room. Imagine his surprise when Bev was sitting on his desk, as she often did, hunched over on herself as much as possible. 

“Bev?” He whispered. He noted the dress she had on, which was torn at the neckline, and the scrapes on her knees.

“Front door was open” She replied, still looking at her hands.

“We should, uh… lock it. Probably”

“Yeah” She laughed, mixed with what sounded suspiciously like a sob. “You probably should”. 

He crossed the room, moving his left hand slowly to rest on top of her hand, and used the other hand to lift her chin. In an out-of-character action, she complied. He wasn't shocked to see a shadow of a bruise forming on her cheekbone, and well as a bloodied split lip. 

He didn’t need an explanation. He already had it. He didn’t say a thing, opting instead to wrap his arms around her and let her sob into his pyjama shirt. He stroked her hair as she bunched up sections of her tshirts with her fists and cried. He normally pulled away when people touched his stomach, but the drama of the scene before him made him forget about his own discomfort. 

After a few minutes, Bev pulled away, wiping at the mascara under her eyes, and taking a deep breath. It was all for naught when she started to explain, and her words caught on a sob yet again. 

“He- he somehow found out I was out with a boy. I thought I was more careful. He had to prove I was stil-” she swallowed, “‘still his’ I fought him off, but he was close. I just had to get out of there. I’m sorry for showing up. I just… didn’t know where to go. I fucking ran.” 

Ben’s heart was racing while she told him about what had happened. “Hey, it’s okay, alright? You’re safe. You’re safe here. You don’t have to apologize. I clearly wasn’t doing anything impotant” He smiled comfortingly as he gestured to the computer, which was still warm. “I’m glad you came, okay? I want you to be safe” Ben said absentmindedly as he brushed his thumb over the bruise on her cheek. She flinched, and he didn’t blame her. 

“I just-... Thank you Ben” she said earnestly. He could feel the exhaustion radiating off of her. He straightened abruptly, going to his dresser. He picked out an old tshirt and his smallest pair of sweatpants. She’d be swimming in both, but it was the best he could do. 

“Here” He said, handing her the clothes, “Go shower. You seem like you're about to pass out. Towels are in the closet across from the bathroom”

Her shoulders sagged in relief (as if he was going to kick her out. In love or not, he wouldn’t do that. He’s not a monster). She got off the desk and passed by him. In the doorway, she paused and turned, about to say something. Instead, she just sighed and nodded to Ben one more time before disappearing into the dark hall. 

While she was in there, he was sure to lock the front door. He silently sent a thanks to whatever higher power he didn’t believe in that his mom had forgotten to lock the door before going to bed. 

Back in his room, he set up a couple pillows and spare blankets on the floor for himself. Bev could have the bed.

It was only ten minutes before she returned with wet hair and his clothes on, which was unfairly endearing. He sat on the bed while she folded up her dress and put it next to her shoes. She then sat cross legged next to him. 

“So, you can have the bed, I’ll crash on the floor. If you need t-”

“Ben you can’t do that”

His brow furrowed. "Sure. I can crash on the couch or something if you want-"

“No Ben, this is your bed. I already showed up in your house unannounced. I’m not also stealing your bed”

He sat back down next to her with an armful of bedding from the floor.

“What? No, it’s not a problem at all. You're not kicking me out. Besides, I don’t mind you coming. I’m glad you did”

“...really?” She looked at him with an expression he couldn’t place.

“What? Yeah, of course. I want you to be safe Beverly. You always have my house to crash at if you want. Besides, I like your compan- _oompf”_

He is cut off suddenly by Beverly, who had scrambled over during his little speech and firmly planted her lips on his. With this realization, he totally froze. 

“Oh my god” she whispered as she noticed he wasn’t responding, “Ben I- I’m sorry, I just, I don’t know what came over me. I thought you were kind of telling me that you-”

She was cut off by Ben gently cupping her jaw and pulling her back in and kissing her softly. 

When they pulled apart, they looked at eachother. Bev's green eyes were swimming with a look he couldn't place. 

“What… what was that?” He asked. 

“I’m sorry if that freaked you out. I just… you were saying all that stuff about me always being welcome and shit and I just didn’t know how to tell you how much I appreciate it”

Ben’s heart sank. “Bev you don’t… owe me anything. You don’t owe me jackshit just because I was a good friend”.

She looked frustrated and shook her head. “Poorly stated. My bad. I just- well I fuckin’ missed you tonight. Aaron and I saw that new Octogator movie, and he actually flinched when it appeared. And he shushed me when I laughed at the special effects. And he likes cheese pizza, so I had to give up my principles and get pineapple on mine. He didn’t even make fun of me for it”.

She was silent, as if Ben was supposed to know what the hell to do with that. “So you kissed me because… your date sucked?” 

“No I kissed you because when I was with Aaron tonight, I realized I didn’t want to be there with him. I wanted to be there with you! I always leave dates wishing I had ditched them to hang out with you. I just… we click really fucking well Ben.” 

She took a breath before continuing, “You’re like, the most interesting person I know. And you're cool without trying and you don’t even know it. And you and I are the only ones who get the stupid inside jokes we make about all those British shows I don’t even like but I still watch because I want to be able to joke about it with you. And you make me feel fucking safe. And like I’m never imposing. And you won’t let bad shit happen to me. And when I tell you about bad shit that’s happened to me, it doesn’t freak you out. You're like, the one fucking solid thing in my life, and I need that shit dude. I don't know what I'd do without a place I could show up at two in the morning when I feel like my world is shattering”.

He gawked at her for a moment. “Wait, you don’t like the IT crowd? I hate it, I just watched it because I thought you liked it”

Bev’s mouth parted, and she started laughing hysterically, causing him to grin. 

“I mean shit, Bev. All I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember it for you to be as into me as I am into you. I accepted a long time ago that it wasn’t gonna happen, and I was.. okay with that, I suppose. This, though, this is… new”

“Good… new?” She sounded shy, which wasn’t a trait Ben had previously associated with her.

“Yeah” he breathed out, “Really fucking good”

He leaned in again, and caught her lips in a kiss, before pulling away slightly. “Does this, like, hurt your lip?”

She grinned, and gripped his hair to pull him back in.

By the time they fell asleep, it was with them both tangled up in eachother. She was half on top of him. With her head buried in his neck. He had an arm around her, and another hand resting on her hand, which was outstretched over his chest. Her fingernails had chipped blue polish on them. And his calloused hand held hers like she would disappear if he loosened his grip. 

* * *

When Ben was twelve, he met the prettiest girl in the world. She crashed into his life like the comet that killed the dinosaurs, and she had burned just as brightly since. 

When Ben was twelve, he looked in the mirror, and for the first time, disliked what he saw. When he was thirteen, he started wondering what he looked like to other people. The next few years should've been spent enjoying high school, but Ben couldn't drag himself out of the pit of self hatred long enough to do so. 

When Ben was sixteen, he shakily dialled Bill’s number at four in the morning. The knuckles on his other hand were bleeding from the countless shards of glass from punching the mirror in his room. Bill would always remember that night as one of the scariest of his life. In his sleepy panic, he ordered a zombie-like Ben to go to his mother’s room to wake her up and ask for a ride to the hospital. 

Neither boy ever mentioned what they talked about on that call, but the group eventually noticed how Bill’s eyes would dart to Ben everytime someone made a suicide joke. 

When Ben was sixteen, he finally face the issues he had spent his whole life running from. Much like himself, the group hadn't realized how far gone Ben was until he started smiling again. It was a bright time for all of them. When Ben was seventeen, he started thinking about life after highschool. There was a time when he believed he wouldn’t live long enough to see it. 

* * *

Ben awoke to movement, and for a moment, he was scared to open his eyes. He felt her weight against his side, but he feared that she wouldn’t be there when he looked. “Hey Hanscom” She whispered into his ear, “I think your mom’s making pancakes”. He peeked one eye open with a smile, and saw her grinning brilliantly. “Anybody ever tell you you have bad morning breath, Marsh?”

* * *

When Ben was seventeen, he’d have the first of many mornings where he woke up to see Beverly Marsh's green eyes looking back at him. 

When Ben was eighteen, he and Bev would sit on his floor and lay out college brochures together. He would start to get anxious, thinking about princesses and planes, and holes you could never climb out of. His thoughts would be silenced by her hand absentmindedly slipping into his, looking at her laptop and one-handedly looking up the distance between all of the schools on the floor, some with good architecture programs, others nationally renowned for fashion. 

Back when Ben was twelve, he was sure as ever that Bev was too good for this town, and he still agreed. However, when Ben was eighteen, he was struck by the realization that he was more than a background character in Bev or anyone else's life. He was free to leave too. 

When Ben was eighteen he realized the prince had a life outside of the princesses narrative. He wasn’t stuck in a hole because all the time he was pacing, the ground never shifted. He could run away with the princess, and have a life outside of Derry. 

He called Bev that night. She was confused because he was already committed to a school, so obviously he could leave. He explained that it was more than that. She cried when he explained his whole fucked up fairytale narrative, and that somewhere along the line, the prince fell into the hole of believing that she would get out and he would be stuck and inevitably forgotten. Bev wetly called him an idiot for thinking she’d leave without him. 

When Ben was eighteen, he realized that he wasn’t burnt to ash, or permanently stuck in a hole, or blinded by the glare of Bev’s future. He was destined for things equally as great as Bev. When he was eighteen, Bev kissed him at their graduation, and whispered to him that they were going to get out, hand in hand, and never look back. 

Until eighteen, Ben couldn’t say he had ever really known what freedom felt like, but he imagined it tasted like Bev Marsh, and sounded like the classic rock playing loudly on his radio as they drove away. Freedom looked like red hair and a sharp smile and freckles, but it also looked like sandy hair and a body he’d eventually learn to love, and brown eyes that melted like honey in the sun. 

Ben was glad he just finally saw that.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this one might be a lil messy bc im trying to experiment with the more, like, impactful writing style at the start and end of the story and in Ben's metaphors. Ive read it in other shit and absolutely fuckin love it, so I figured I try my hand.
> 
> Let me know any suggestions you have in the comments.  
> Toodles, dolls!  
> Viv


End file.
